Saturday, June 25, 2011


Missy and I will be married 4 years in August, but New York state only recognizes 3 of those years, and apparently the city hall where Lilian was born chose to disregard our marriage and paperwork and still send out her birth certificate with one parent line blank (even though we were under the impression that we'd both be included.).  (You can read about our weddings and family here.)  There has always been a gray area in the law for us where we have slipped through the cracks, or officials chose to make their own interpretations.  And many places we went in New York weren't even AWARE of the 2008 ruling to recognize out of state marriages.)  We've explained our marriage more times than I can count.  I've answered "but is it 'real?'", "did it really count?", "is it legal?" for the past 4 years.  I've explained the technicalities to my parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, hospital staff and even employers. 

But tonight this all changes.  Just after midnight, the New York senate voted 33-29 to legalize same-sex marriage in New York!  Our Massachusetts marriage still stands and will be considered equal, but now that we are a gay marriage state, hopefully no more explanations will be needed.  Though maybe we'll get married (for a third time) in New York, just because we can!  Just kidding.  At each wedding we only had 2 friends present as witnesses, and it would be nice to invite ALL our friends and family to attend.

And I'm so happy that this happened before Lilian is of the age to really understand what a marriage is.  She knows she has two mommies and that we're all family, but beyond that I don't think she has any comprehension.  So when she does, I'm glad that we'll be able to tell her in black and white, we're married, you are both of our daughter, we're a family, and we have all the same rights as everyone else you know.  And when she goes to school, she'll have a lot less explaining to do.

So, though tonight changes nothing for MY family, in the long run it'll help other change their perception of us.  No more grey areas.  And no more having to beg and explain for the rights that come with marriage to be provided to us with equality.  And although I grew up a Jersey girl (and I was very proud in 2007 when civil unions became legal, and we were the first that the mayor of Hoboken performed that year, we still resented the over 1,000 federal rights we were denied).  But I was a New Yorker from 1997-2003, and again since 2007... and now I can finally say with whole-hearted conviction that I'm proud to ALSO be a New Yorker, where I've spent most of my adult life.

So... WAY TO GO, New York!  Just one word... FINALLY!!!!

It seems EVERYONE has something to say about it... I'm going to put some of my favorite quotes I come across here from both celebrities and friends (if you want me to include yours, leave it in a comment and I'll edit the post to add it!):

"Thank GOD New York passed the gay marriage bill. Fingers crossed in a few months I will FINALLY be able to marry my dog Porkchop. That's what's next right?"  -- my wife, Missy

“Congratulations to humanity.  And particularly to the NY State Senate. I promise you have advanced mankind, not ruined it. Blessings.”   -- Jason Alexander

"First the Muppets took Manhattan, and now the Homos. Congratulations to the Homos. It’s about fuckin’ time!!!"   -- Missy's BFF, Joe

The Twitter tending topics less than 2 hours after the bill's passing include #equalityforall, NYer, Stonewall, West Village, and Andrew Cuomo.

@KateRothwell said "This is a sad, sad day for many CT wedding planners. #blackliningsilvercloud"

"Well, what do you know? It actually did get better, at least in New York."  -- private Tweet from a friend, W.D.

"It PASSED! Marriage equality in NY!! Yes!! Progress!! Thank you everyone who worked so hard on this!! A historic night!"  -- Neil Patrick Harris on Twitter @ActuallyNPH

"As we celebrate tonight, let's spare a warm thought for our opponents, who lost absolutely nothing."  -- @DaveHolmes

"The revolution is ours to fight for love, justice+equality. Rejoice NY, and propose. We did it!!!" -- @LadyGaga

"6 down -- 44 to go."  -- @rainbowlaw

One of the best articles published about it tonight:

Headlines about the historic vote less than an hour after it passed. (Click to see larger)
Empire State building lit for pride!

Wikipedia changed the very first paragraph of the same sex marriage page with the update, also within the hour.


  1. I feel a deep sense of relief, and sadness that this didn't happen in time for my "civilized" in Vermont wife and me. She passed away 5 years ago, without ever having the chance to be legally married to me. But we did have a wedding celebration in New York, and exchanged vows with our friends and families the same weekend we got civilized. Now, it would count...

  2. I agree, FINALLY! its taken too long and too many of my friends have passed and never got to be married except in their hearts and dedication to each other....

  3. I saw the news last night and was very happy to hear it - 6 down and 44 to go indeed! Congratulations, and WELL DONE NEW YORK!!! (P.S. Joe's comment made me giggle and scare the cat, LOLLLLLLLLLL)


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